Teenagers: Under Pressure
One of the most common comments I have heard from adults is, “teenagers don’t have stress, and won’t know it until they have a full-time job to attend, a house to pay for, and other mouths to feed.” I have to admit that this statement set me back a bit, but not in the “oh, they are totally right about these lazy complaining teens” type of way. No, this was in the, “have we really become so far removed as adults that we forgot what it was like to actually be a teenager” type of way?
The Pressure Within
Looking back on my own teenage years (however long ago that may have been), I realize that there was one word in particular that really filled my thoughts and emotions, PRESSURE! Now, don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t necessarily a pressure that was put on me by others, but a pressure that I was more so putting on myself. Pressure to make good grades, pressure to decide where I wanted to go to college, pressure to perform well in sports and extracurricular activities, pressure to be popular, and pressure to decide on a future career path. My entire mindset was dominated by pressures. I was constantly focused on what I thought I was “supposed to be.”
The Pressure Passed On
Although in my circumstance the pressure may have been self-inflicted, I have seen many adolescents who experience that pressure coming from parents, teacher, coaches, social media, siblings, and friends. And while, yes, pressure can sometimes be a good thing, the problem is that the expectations that teens experience is leading to a massive increase in anxiety. In fact, statistics currently state that 66% of teenagers report experiencing high anxiety.
Perfectionism
Unfortunately, it does not just stop with pressure, as we have increased the expectations on today’s teens. We now want perfection. For example, we live in a society that thrives on sayings such as:
· “It’s a Dog-Eat-Dog World”
· “Sink or Swim”
· “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps”
· “Rub Some Dirt on it”
· “Don’t Let Them See You Sweat.”
While we may have good intentions behind these ideas, what we are ultimately conveying is “be perfect, and don’t dare fall short of these standards, nor have any emotions around them.” This is so hard for an adult to even process, much less a teenager whose brain hasn’t even fully developed yet. In “The Gifts of Imperfection,” author Brené Brown states, “Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life-paralysis. Life-paralysis refers to all the opportunities we miss because we’re too afraid to put anything out in the world that could be imperfect.”
The Need to Change
We so badly want success from our teens, but we are putting so many expectations on them to be perfect, that often times we are pushing them in a completely opposite direction. Maybe, that C in Algebra was truly the best they could manage, maybe it’s okay that they aren’t the star basketball player, and maybe they are allowed to have ideas for their life that don’t meet the standard picture of “success.” Maybe, just maybe, it starts with us taking off that pressure for them to be perfect, and just allowing them to be perfectly themselves.
helping your Teens and Adolescents in McKinney, TX, and in Birmingham, AL
You just want the best for your child and want to know how to support them when they’re struggling with the anxiety and pressures of life. We at Sharp Wellness understand that and want to support you. Our therapists are experienced in providing evidence-based care to teens and adolescents in McKinney, TX, and Birmingham, AL. Our counseling team is dedicated to helping teens and adolescents discover the skills they need to manage their mental health, create positive habits and relationships, and build self-worth, resilience, and confidence. If you are interested in beginning therapy:
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Other Therapy Services at Sharp Wellness
At Sharp Wellness, our therapists know there may be many struggles your adolescent is facing and we want to help. This is why we have locations in Birmingham, AL, and Mckinney, TX. To support you and your family. We offer trauma therapy, teen and adolescent therapy, individual counseling, marriage counseling, family counseling, LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy, EDMR Therapy, and Group Therapy. We also offer Couple's Intensives at our Mckinney, TX location.
