It's not you.. It's Covid.

“It’s not you…it’s not me…it’s COVID.”

Relationships are hard. Relationships are harder when you and your significant other have to hunker down together for over a year due to a worldwide pandemic. We were not made to do life alone, and yet we weren’t really made to live on top of each other either. Even rats, when they don’t have enough space, start to attack each other. So it’s really no surprise that during one of the most stressful years most of us can recount to date, that there’d be more stress and pressure on our most intimate relationships. If your relationship made it through this past year with a few scrapes, then you are not alone.

Pre-pandemic, divorce rates were already pretty high (though due to lower rates of marriage, some of those variables may a bit skewed), however, divorce rates during the pandemic have sky-rocketed. This is true across the globe, non-unique to the US or the Western Hemisphere. Issues that may have previously been left unaddressed, unearthed, may have arisen during our quality-quarantine time simply because we could no longer avoid them.

We literally had nowhere to go. And with other stresses, like work stress, financial duress, parenting/schooling kids at home, etc., our threshold for stress more than runneth over. We have been Running On Empty for a bit now and unfortunately, those we love most and are most comfortable around tend to see some of our less flattering parts. When dealing with a perpetual level of stress, acute stress, then our ability to mitigate it becomes diminished and we tend to live in this state of hypervigilance. Our accumulated impact of stress means that, for many of us, it didn’t take much to become agitated, irritated, frustrated, and short with one another.

All this to say, if this sounds like your relationship, don’t despair. It’s not you. It’s not them, either. It’s COVID. Instead of blaming each other, let’s lay blame where blame is due---freakin’ COVID. COVID has done a number on just about everything in our lives. If your relationship has been adversely affected, take a deep breath, hang on and push through. If you need someone to help you get back on track, seek help.


If you're struggling, seek help. Sharp Wellness offers individual, couples, family, and group therapy to help support you and help you live your best life. Contact us now.

Rachel Innerarity, MA LPC

Couple's Specialist

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